Tag Archives: relationship

I hate the fights

5 Jun

Jesus! My sister and I just had a fight. I know, I know… nothing extraordinary, but it just always gets in my nerves so badly that I feel like doing God knows what! I’m not the type of person that gets in a lot of fights, if I have to be honest. Most of the times I prefer to keep it calm and not say what I have to say, so that there is peace on Earth and everybody lives happily ever after! Now, don’t get me wrong, I won’t stand any injustices but I just don’t fight if it’s not worth it, which of course, is most of the times when we fuss about stupid things. But my sister…oh, she has to give it and she has to give it hard! She won’t stop until she says everything she wants to say and everybody admits they were wrong (even if they weren’t…). Naturally, most of the times I would say “Look, I don’t wanna get into this right now, so can we just drop it?” and the reply I usually get is “Yeah, of course! You always try to change the topic and not talk about it if it doesn’t suit you! That’s just who you are!”. Now, I don’t get mad easily but usually that does the trick… Still, I try to avoid the fight and just let it go, but not Rally. She continues walking all over the house, slamming doors shut, murmuring and whatnot. What gets me the most is the things she says. She’s the type of person who will always say stuff she doesn’t really mean while she’s angry but even though I know she doesn’t mean it, that does make it alright. You can’t just blurt out something that would hurt someone’s feelings and then say “Well, you know I didn’t mean it! Why are you mad about it?”. Well, hon, it doesn’t work that way! Plus, she gets angry so easily it’s not even funny. Obviously, yesterday I said something that she didn’t like. I can’t even remember what it was because, apparently, it was SO “important”, plus I bet my ass on it that it was meant as a joke. Well, she obviously decided to take it personally and she held a grudge about it until today. Can you imagine? So, after the fight today she brought it up again and said “I can’t stand you since yesterday anyway, so I don’t care!”. That wasn’t very nice, I have to say. And all because of nothing! I should be used to it by now but clearly I’m not. I just hate big words, if you don’t mean it, don’t say it! That’s the way it should work, otherwise why even bother? Anyway. Decided to write here because talking about it calms me down and since I’m giving her the silent treatment now, and my friends have heard it all before I guess this is the prefect place.

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Chapter 2

10 May

So… about Bobby! We were together for a whole lot of 7 years until about a year ago when we broke up. The story here is soo, soo long you probably wouldn’t want to hear it, so I’ll try to keep it brief.

We met when I was 13 or 14 years old. Well, we met officially when I was 14 years old, but in fact we knew each other for ever because we used to live in the same neighborhood. He was my first real love, first serious relationship…a lot of firsts there. We really loved each other and I honestly thought that we’re going to get married one day. Well, at least this is how I thought at first. He meant a lot to me not just because I loved him a lot, but also because he was like my own personal saviour. I used to run away from all my problems when I was with him. He was the reason I started taking the whole mom-is-away thing a lot more easily and it was always him and her. When I was in Bulgaria, I was happy to be with him, when I was in Dubai I was happy to be with her and either way there was always someone to come home to. I don’t mean to make it sound like my other family members or my friends weren’t a part of the reason why every time I came back, it’s just that Bobby and mom were on top of the list for me.

We had a good time together, I must say, although if you ask most of the people around me they would say different things. But it was me and him who knew how it really was. I used to hear a lot of those: “You are so young! Why you throw your best years away just to spend them with one guy. This is not the moment for serious relationships, it’s the moment for having fun, living your life…” and so on and so forth. I knew that it wasn’t the best time for serious relationships but what was I supposed to do? Break up with him just because it wasn’t the right time? So, we stayed together for 7 years. You’re probably wondering why we broke up if everything was so perfect and rosy… Well, because it wasn’t! I was really naive back then. That is, until I found out that he cheated on me. I was in Dubai when I found out, and that was the second worst time in my life. Even though I couldn’t even look at him for a while, because you know I had such naive plans for us that he literally shattered to pieces with just one mistake, I still wasn’t ready to leave him. Have you ever felt that? Knowing that leaving someone is the single most right thing to do, but you’re just not ready. Well, I knew that for myself so we stayed together for 2 more years. I though I was past the whole situation until the moment when I realized I wasn’t. I knew I had to just give it time and the moment will present itself, and then I would know I’m ready. And there it was. My best friend’s mom had just passed away and it was a really sad time. We were with her all the time and naturally that meant we weren’t in our best mood. So, one night I was feeling so down that all I wanted was to see him, just lie there in his arms for a while and take my mind off everything. Instead, he picked a fight with his mom and because he wasn’t right I started defending her so he started picking on me as well and after the first 5 minutes I just couldn’t take it anymore so I just up and left! And that was it! The fight wasn’t the reason why i broke up with him, it was just the spark that set the fire. After we broke up I realized that I was never really over the whole cheating situation and that I still held a grudge for it. I also realized that now really isn’t the time for serious relationships and I feel much better now. Of course, i don’t regret a single moments of my time with Bobby, because it was all great in general and i’ve learned a lot from that experience. I’m just happy that we managed to stay really good friends, although his new girlfriend is obviously very jealous of me. Oh well…. 😀